Wednesday, 12 February 2014

A Fable

A poor man had reached almost his retirement age but havent achieved the wealth and success he had envisioned. Depressed but desperate to learn the secret of getting rich he decided to talk to his rich friend who also had started with him but had achieved lot more than him.what the secret of success was.
He started early the next morning to know the secret. The rich man understood his friends situation and decided to help him. But he also knew that nothing comes easy so he asked his poor friend to walk down the rough path near the edge of town. He convinced his friend that he will find the answer to his question by the end of the road. Trusting his friends words the poor man started walking down that rough path.
He walked and walked until his legs started paining. The path had some sharp turns over the low hills and was a complete mystery. He could never find a view which would show him the actual length of the road. The path was slippery and very rough. He stumbled over a few times and also hurt himself. But he was too desperate and so kept on walking. After almost exhausting his energy he saw a side board. On walking near he could read "Not far to go now". Encouraged by the words he again started walking with all his energy.
A little further he saw another sign that read: ‘Keep going.’ He felt a renewed sense of energy
and determination even though he was hot and exhausted.
After walking some more he read another boardsaying "You are nearly there.". He was too exhausted so he decided to wait for some time and rest his muscles befire starting again.
He again started walking and a few more hours passed by. The sun had also started to set. With every step he experienced more and more discomfort and all his excitement had vanished. He started thinking that his rich friend had played a joke with him. There were only signs after signs but the road never appeared to have an end. A stream ran by, he sat down for some refreshment and thought. On thinking what his friend had done to him, He got frustrated and decided that there was nothing down the road. His friend had made a fool out of him. He decided to head back to his rich friend and give him a good thrashing for playing such a stupid and unworthy prank with him.
In the meantime the rich friend was sitting in his beautiful balcony watching the sun set and waiting eagerly for his friend to arrive. A cool glass of lemonade and a satisfactory smile on his face were searching the road for his friend.
He waited and waited, until eventually the sun set down. Disappointed, he walked across the lawn and up to the gate of his house. He opened it and walked down the rough path that ran near a little stream. He stopped at the sign he had erected there. The sign read: ‘You’re here.’
He gazed one last time down the long and winding path but there was no sign of his friend.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

~ Calvin Coolidge

Friday, 17 January 2014

RIVER, Yeah It's LIFE....

Our life is like a river. The destination is set, but the method of our journeying is up to us. We can cruise down the middle of the river at top speed, or we can hug the shore and spin around in eddies. We can crash over rapids or chart a safer path between obstacles. We can slum along the bottom in the mire and slime of sediment, or we can glide along the sparkling surface where the air is clean. The river is ours from birth to death. How we’ll navigate it is determined by the hundreds of small choices we make each day.
To discover our mission in life we must see challenges as opportunities for growth and then face them head on. Each challenge measures our strengths and progress.

Even when trials cause pain or sorrow, we must look for new lessons in the pain and ask God for the power to learn and to grow from it. Suffering focuses our attention on what matters most, and with God’s help, we can strengthen our spirits by learning patience, tolerance and love. These lessons learned, we become co-navigators with God. But when unlearned, we go into the eddies, spinning around, making little progress, even blaming God for our unremitting suffering.

But, life is dynamic, and the river stretches and bends as we go. A bad beginning does not inevitably lead to a bad ending. In fact a bad beginning can give us strength to create a good ending.

Sometimes you have to get to know the bottom of the river – the seamy, murky side of life that swallows victims whole and never lets them see the light of day. But through unfathomable effort can look up and find God. With his help you can kick addictions and self-defeating habits out of your life. You can fight the undercurrents, disentangle yourself, break the surface of your troubled life and go to a place where pure air and light can provide new energy. You can grow strong and rescue others from the depths. Your beginnings then become the basis for a greater good you will do in life. Your wounds become muscles. Your fears become faith. Your mistakes become experience used to benefit mankind. Anyone can choose either to drown in past troubles or to fight to live

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Its time....

She packed her things in a bag. There wasn't much stuff as she had always lived in a home, rarely went out and was a classic example of minimalistic living. She turned back the last time the drawers and cupboards lay open but hadn't made much difference. The bed lay sad and lonely. The shining television set was hanging on the wall, her only companion for years crying out miss you. The breeze flowing through the window was dancing with curtains waving her good bye. The house was calm but the emptiness in her heart was making her heartbeats sound louder than drums.

Walking towards the door she thought about the 25 years she had spent in this place. She stepped into the house at that age of 20 dressed in a red bridal saree with a dream in her mind of leading a wonderful life. Every single moment of these 25 years she had invested in the people of this house. She had done all her duties and responsibilities with full responsibility and heart. She had sacrificed her job, family, friends to fulfill the demands of this family. All she did was for them and now what she was left with was ignorance, no respect and loneliness.

Her husband never took her out as then how would he maintain his status by introducing her as a housewife. Her children felt low and never took her to the school meetings as they felt ashamed of her being a housewife. She even didn't remember the last time she had been to a place other than the stores that sold household stuff. She had spent her life doing all the household work from repairing the mixer to paying the bills, from cleaning the house to get the kids studies done, from delivering 2 cute babies to nursing every patient at home. And now she was just a housewife.

She had loved everybody enough but now it was time to be herself. One last time she took a deep
breath, closed the door behind her, placed the keys where she usually hide them and start walking. Yes, she had made her decision now. She wore that smile on her face, waving goodbye in her heart to the people around. She had opened the door to her new life away from the sadness, loneliness and emptiness of this house. With every step she feels her new found confidence building up. She feels like the people all around are cheering up on her decision.

She feels the rays of sun giving her the warmth of energy, the cool breeze a ray of hope, a signal to a better life coming ahead. She noticed an old man sitting on a bench on the pavement reading newspaper. Something written in bold caught her attention. She bend down to take a closer look and it was an advertisement for a woman wanted to supervise the servants and take care of the house and old couple and kids living there. She thought, her time has come. That was what she had excelled herself in doing a quarter of century and doing the same was also going to pay her now. This was her chance, to a new life.....

She noted down the address of the place and caught the bus heading there. Her time had come.....

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Just another weekend....

Its saturday morning and yeah today he will be coming back from office until lunch. Its the arrival of weekend and plans have started building up. He will be completing his pending sleep of whole week after the lunch getting up directly at dinner time. And then he would suddenly realize its saturday night so a drinks night will come up with friends and the dinner will be consumed after midnight that too if he is in mood of having some food. Sunday mornings are supposed to be spent on bed but the rule gets modified here and he is up exceptionally early at times even before God. Its a treat indulging himself in some early morning movies and then a cricket match with the friends. By the time he returns its noon. Time dedicated for lunch with eyes glued to the television set (as usual) and then some cricket match or sunday special movies comping on air. A glass of beer in hand, with some snack and an unappreciated lovely dinner. The coach develops a duct into it by the time its time to sleep. Sometimes a boys day out with friends pops up but thats it.
Weekends are the perfect occassions for some me time. Of course there's no time during the weekdays left after the job, dinner with eyes glued to the tv and sleep after getting exhausted by the programmes/movies displayed.

She makes sure that he is not disturbed at all and gets everything on time and as demanded during the weekdays. She waits impatiently for the weekend to come with a hope of getting some we time. She will leave no work for the weekend as it would disturb him or even eat up on their time together.
The schedule is going on since some 100 weekdays and weekends. She is living with a hope of getting noticed some day. She keeps on moving around him, doing things he likes, and everything she could possible think of just to get noticed. No its not that he doesn't love her. He is very kind to her, she is never deprived of anything. He remembers her birthday and their anniversary every year. They go grocery shopping together. Anytime she demands of spending some together he pulls her beside him on the sofa and they watch the tv together.

Does sitting on the same coach watching the same television programme together without a word being uttered means being together. Does eating in the same plate with face in the direction of the favourite movie coming on air without the appreciation of food means being together. Does leaving the changes in the partner unnoticed specially made for you means being together?? Does sleeping on the same bed without kissing good night means being together?? Does living under the same roof without knowing whats going on each others lives means being together?? Does only knowing that the partner is alive but not bothering is living or not means being together??

Marriage is like a song, where the Lord's sweet melody of love comes from two hearts joined as one, husband and wife. Neglecting a persons individuality is not less than a crime. Every person in the
universe needs to be known, cherished and respected. And done more specifically if the person is your mate. Indifference and neglect do much more damage than outright dislike. When making any choice in life, never neglect to live and to live with person you love.

Being honest, the real threat to marriages is none other than loving commitment whether in the form of neglect, indifference or cruelty. So many women die every year due to depression. Its not the biology that kills them as much as neglect. Death only kills once but ignorance, neglect kills every moment of life. It is better to not be in a relationship if you are going to act single. It hurts being ignored cos it makes the person look foolish trying to get some attention.

She may get used to it. She may get used to being cancelled, left alone. She may get used to being left as the last option.She may get used to being forgotten. She may get used to not exist. It would all be still fine. She will learn to live it that way. But just imagine how would it feel if all of that happens to you. What would happen to your alter ego , your manhood?? 

In life there is always a purpose behind everyone you meet. Some will use you, test you, teach you, bring out the best in you and some will just love you. Love you for you being you, irrespective of however you are, whatever you do. They will always you, be with you. Love is not about sex, going on romantic dates or spending money on each other. Its all about being with the one who makes you fell like nobody else does, makes you feel complete. we oftenly underestimate the power of a smile, touch, a kind word, a listening ear or even the smallest act showing you care. All of these have the power to move a life around.

Being alone does not mean you are lonely or being lonely does not mean you are alone. Choose your relationship wisely. Its always better to be alone than being lonely and neglected inspite of being in a relationship. Good relationships never happen in a moment of time, they take time, patience and lots of work and desire to be put in. The purpose of a healthy relationship  is to grow together and achieve you goals together without disrespecting or ignoring each others individuality.

Never waste a moment in your life holding grudges, it may be the last one with your love. In
relationships distance is not measured in miles but in the affection they share. Two people might be sitting next to each other but may be miles apart. so make the effort to nourish the special bond. Trust me its worth the effort. Never neglect the people who are important to you taking them for granted that they will be always be there. One fine day you would wake up to realize that they are gone to never come back.

Every mind likes celebrations. It gives more pleasure & memorable moments. Today is One of that day. So enjoy it & feel the moments. Have a Nice Day Together.

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Wedding??? Ahan, Competition!!!

Recently I had been to a wedding of my darling friend. When they were in the middle of their pheres, I heard some ladies chatting behind me. They were so loud that I couldn't help but hear. To my utter surprise they were criticising the brides saree. She no doubtedly looked ravishingly beautiful but to
their taste she was wearing a majorly heavy saree than she could carry.
"Oh my god the saree must be double her weight"
"Had she chosen the lighter shade, would have suited her better"
"She would have saved some money for the beautician, look at her make-up"

They did not stop on just the bride but dwindled on every single aspect existed. From the venue to the menu. On the day which was supposed to be their most special day of life, these 3 would be/had been brides were busy rating the whole procession like professional paid critics. Were they invited to
criticise or bless the newly wed deeply in love couple with a happy life.

Wedding is supposed to be about 2 people who are madly badly in love with each other expressing their commitment in front of family and friends. It is not about comparing whose dress was better, was anything on the menu eatable or hoping to get an expensive return gift. Marriage processions since long have been a matter of show off. These days a matter of status. Not to forget the contribution of these advertising and marketing community including bollywood, people these days pour lakhs of rupees in the procession which actually lasts for just a couple of hours.

But how many times do we see people madly in love getting married?? Its like weddings have become just an overly expensive affair rather than celebration of love. It is everybodys right to have the day designed the way they want, but I genuinely believe the couple must spend some time discussing their marriage than planning it. I would really be happy to remember some simple marriages filled with love and overwhelmed with emotion than the ones just bought at the expense of bundles or paper notes what we call money. I still get a smile when I heard him(Groom) murmering in her ears now I will be able to dance at my grand childrens weddings with my beautiful wrinkle queen in my arms.
Isn't this what we would call as love?

Hasn't somebody rightly quoted that there is no more lovely, friendly and a charming relationship than a good marriage. The funniest thing is I wrote the complete post on the topic the wedding day, but the real thing starts from the very next day. It is not the promises you make that makes a great marriage but the act of fulfilling them every single moment of your life ahead. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, rather what you offer to give and that's everything. To be loved with a love that is more than love. Its not the end dude, Its just the beginning.
True love stories never have endings....

"'cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap"
-Ani Difranco's 

Thursday, 3 October 2013


Today I woke up exceptionally early, even before the sunrise. But I preferred to stay on bed cuddled up. After some time I saw some beautiful shades of pink appearing on the horizon. Yeah I have a balcony to my bedroom facing east and the first thing you see when you wake up is the golden sky with that lovely ball of sun. Lucky me... I enjoyed the shades of pre-sunrise laying in his arms. In no time the sun started showing up and dominating the whole sky with its presence. In just a matter of 10 minutes the dancing colours were all gone and the day was up. It was like it never happened. I would have missed the glory of beautiful vibrant colours dancing all over the skyline had I slept a little more. 

Timing can be a witch sometimes. Nothing is more important in relationships. A person can be compatible with the other in n number of different ways. You could form the best of couple, having similar views and ideals with matching thoughts on favourite topics. You could share the same taste in food, fashion, hobbies and leisure times. You may get along with each others families absolutely well.
But all is well if the timings well. Consider the timing is off for any one of you all the compatibilities end up in the bin outside your house. When the timings not right with someone all your emotions betray you portraying a picture of discomfort and unhappiness building paths of an unfulfilled relationship. Happiness bears the most inconsistent nature. Some day you will be like the happiest creature on earth and the other day you may not feel the same.
Timing plays a crucial role in all sorts of relationships
especially in love. Not getting along today may not always mean they wont be having a future together. Maybe tomorrow they would grow mature and progress to a level of understanding and grow more secure in who they are. Maybe they won't. There will not be any heavenly moment saying you that this is the perfect timing for a relationship.  But there will be this moment, and you will always know when it comes. Learn to trust your instincts. Instincts never betray, they just help us to not get settled for interrupted happiness.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Wanna see if hubby remembers anniversary...

There is no doubt that anniversaries are a huge deal for most people. Whether it is the day they met, their first date, or the day they were married, it marks a celebration. If you are into anniversaries, I completely understand what it must feel like for someone to forget. What I can’t grasp is the desire for people to “test” their significant other. 

Some time back when I was having a casual chat with ma friend she showcased the bitter side of herself uttering, “I want to see if my husband remembers our anniversary . I’m not uttering a word this year. Every year, I have to remind him(Its just been 2 years since they are married). This year, I want to see if he remembers on his own and see what he does. I am not going to forgive him if he forgets.” Instead of waking up, rolling over, planting a kiss on his lips and greeting her husband with, Happy Anniversary, she rolled out of bed, completed her chores, went to work, and was salty all day  because her husband had as usual forgotten her anniversary which was actually supposed to be their anniversary. I would call that a waste of emotions and energy.

Even my hubby is worst when it comes to remembering birthdays and anniversaries. I literally have to remind him the night before, and the morning of any family member’s birthday. This includes his parents, his siblings and even my own. But I just love it that way. He just doesn’t do well with remembering birthdays. He has proven that year after year. But that doesn't make him a bad person or it confirms that he doesn't love us. Its just not his style to remember the dates.

I have always been the neglected one so most of them never remembered my birthday. But I had my own style of celebrating it. I would call up or walk to everyone I love and gift them with some handmade stuff I personally prepare for them sharing love and happiness. That's how a birthday is meant to be, isn't it. 

When you test a person, it almost always ends in failure. And what is really the purpose of the test? If they remember does it mean they love you? If they forget does it mean you chose the wrong person? It really can be as simple as the fact that they are forgetful or they don’t place the same value on one particular day. 

Life is too short to treat your mate like a child. You may as well be saying, “I wonder if he remembered to collect the house keys while leaving. I’m not telling him again. If he didn’t, I am going to ground him when I get home.”

She could have saved a lot of time, energy, and stress just by saying, “Darling, what can we do for our anniversary on Friday?” Decide together if you want to go out to dinner, cook at home, head out for a movie, go on a long drive, lounge whole day on the bed or celebrate with friends and family.  
Trust me, it would have worked out a lot better for both. After all, it’s not just your anniversary. It is a day for both of you.So go wish him without trying to test whether he remembers or not. Its the relationship that's important not the date.